This life of
separateness may be compared to a dream, a phantasm, a bubble, a shadow, a
drop of dew, a flash of lightning and you should see it as such.
Project “Life”, as almost everything in this world, consists of three
layers: external, internal and secret. Which layer you choose to explore is
entirely up to you.
Don’t be afraid that your
life will end some day
Be afraid that it will never begin. D. Newman
The external layer consists of six separate sections. Each section describes
certain mental or inner states (you can call them whatever you like, it is
just a matter of terminology). Each state one experiences has at it’s root a
cause, and if the cause changes so does the state. In the end all states
will pass, or more precisely, transform into new states (which have their
own causes in turn).
Despite the fact that what one is experiencing is simply a state of mind,
most people totally associate themselves with one of below mentioned six
states and as a consequence never experience anything more than the external
layer of life.
1. Life as “Creativity”
- The state in which a person fully expresses themselves
and gives their life over to the creative process.
3. Life as Stress - Stress is a relatively new term, it only came
into use in 1936. The section entitled "Overcoming Stress" is
dedicated to this state, you can find some stress reduction
4. Life as Depression - Mass media refers to this state as the
plague of the 21st century. Comparing depression to the plague (the
most dreadful and virulent medieval disease) is not a figure of
speech. At the moment you are reading these words millions of people
around the world are suffering from depression. The section called
"Overcoming Depression" discusses concrete methods of fighting
5. Death - In Western cultures this state is traditionally seen as
opposed to Life. Here we view death not as the ultimate end of life
but as one of the most important events in a person’s life. One day
a state people call Life, simply transforms into a state people call
6. lossofsoul – A state of inner self-destruction, which
some cultures define as a loss of soul.
After reading this short summary you may think that this
project is focused on the dark side of life and you
would be right. Only people experiencing life as
creativity can say that they are actually living,
everybody else merely exists, or are even slowly dying.
Project “Life” mirrors the reality of modern society, in
which many people permanently live in states of
depression and despair. Did you know that according to
official statistics 1 million people kill themselves
each year? Unofficially that number is closer to 4
million. You can easily find all sorts of data published
by government institutions, but the suicide statistics
are not as readily available or as accurate, perhaps
because it spoils the image depicted by official
institutional reports of a successful society.
Here are some of the layers of life visitors of this site are
Look with your heart. There is much that can’t be seen with the eyes.
The internal layer doesn’t involve words. Words are mostly used to
dissect life into isolated dualistic events and to label them with
preconceived notions. And yet, you will find nothing but words on this site.
That is because technology doesn’t yet exist that would allow for the direct
sharing of feelings, emotions and perceptions. Perceptions and emotions are
more fundamental than words. So don’t trust any words if they don’t resonate
with your heart.
Children experience the internal layer of life, the layer of feelings and
emotions, but as they grow up adults teach them to replace those feelings
and emotions with judgement. Step by step our perception of and engagement
with life shifts from the heart to the brain, but if you preserve
connections with your inner child you can continue to experience both the
internal and external layers of life. Your heart and mind will guide you
It is a good idea to start exploring this site with the
section that corresponds to your “layer” of life. If you see life positively
then information found on the “lossofsoul” page won’t make much sense to you
and if you start reading about depression you risk starting to feel some of
its symptoms. I receive letters from site visitors confirming that this
sometimes happens. On the other hand, mentioning to somebody in a state of
deep depression that life can be perceived as creativity may be in vain and
cause nothing but a bitter smile.
Internal = externa, so if you want to find something
relevant to you, please choose the proper section which corresponds to your
layer of life. This site is not just an informational portal, but a project
about life and as such we are trying to follow life’s structure.
How to explain the beauty
of the ocean to fish living in an aquarium? And how beautiful the ocean is!
When you reach this layer you realize that
“Depression”, “Stress”, “Life”, “Death” are just words people agree to use
to label different inner states. The meaning of these labels is determined
by culture, religion and language among other causes, and is constantly
changing. When you find yourself in one of these states you experience
feelings and emotions that are rooted in certain causes, but others may
experience that what is labelled as the same state differently, experiencing
different feelings and emotions with different causes at their root.
On this layer causality and determinism simply
disappear. You know that “Depression”, “Stress”, “Life”, “Death” are nothing
but passing mental states and you can move through them without letting them
consume you. You see actual life, not your mental models of life. But what
is actual life? The answer to this question can’t be expressed in words (for
they are of the external layer). Words will create another model. You can
not feel the answer either, because this is not a layer of sensual
perception (like the internal layer). The answer is simple - either you know
it or you don’t, there are no other options.
This project was created for the benefit of all sentient beings
Initially, when this project was released in 2002 it was called “If you
feel bad”. The project was focused on depression and methods to overcome it.
It was more of a compilation of diverse facts than original content. My
mind was full of different preconceived notions and, what is even worse, I
was unhappy and tense. You can still see traces of tension and unhappiness
on some pages. It was more a “Proof of life” project than Project “Life” at
But one day the most wonderful and important thing in my life happened. I
came across the methods to become happy. A few years and hundreds of hours
of meditation later a shining space opened to me and I learned what
unconditional happiness is. It can’t be described in words but I will try
My wish to share this experience with you led to a second release of the
project, so in 2006 the current version of Project “Life” appeared on the
Internet. It is difficult to call what I am doing today “work”. There is not
enough space for books or computers in the small room where I live, but my
internal “Internet” is much bigger and much more interesting than the www. I
just meditate, and everything that appears in my mind, later appears on the
pages of this project expressed in words. Simple, right? When life and
meditation had merged, this project turned into meditation as well. Many
articles were re-written and there are still a lot of things to do, but this
project is evolving and step by step comes closer to be worthy of its name -
I take full responsibility for each and every word on these pages
(including the ones with grammatical errors), but I can’t take any
responsibility for the changes in your life (or lack thereof) triggered by
this project. So, if you are not prepared to take responsibility for your
own life, then project “Life” probably does not relate to your life, and is
not for you.
So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
For ever trusting who we are
And nothing else matters
Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
And nothing else matters
Here you can be yourself. It doesn’t matter what people call you in real
life. They can call you a rascal or a saint, good or bad, kind or angry –
let them use these funny labels. There is no place for labels or judgements
here. You will be accepted as you are, fully and completely. We will trust
you and our trust is unconditional, it simply exists that way. But we do not
expect trust from you. Trust is not something that you can demand, either it
exists or it doesn’t. Ask yourself if you trust the words you are reading
right now. Words by themselves are not very important, but feeling that you
trust them is. So if you feel trust let’s continue, but if you don’t, then
close this page because you are probably just wasting your time and neither
of us wants that.
that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music. Aldous
You can find a “music note” symbol linked to a music file on every page
of this project. This is not just background music. These pages are composed
of words, but words are just that and as such are limited as to how much
they can express. In actual conversations only 7% of messages are conveyed
by words, 30% by tone and intonation and 60% by body language. So, how can
you share your perception of life with somebody with just words? Life is not
a word, but a feeling, and since technology that would allow for the direct
sharing of feelings doesn’t yet exist, the next best option is music, which
will guide you through all the diverse sections of this project.
This project has a rather simple and logical structure but you will need
some time to get used to it.
Using the map will facilitate your navigation of the site.
I would like to thank Nataly Zhorova,
Konstantin Cherkasov, Alexey Odegov, Alexander Arlancev, hedgehog Saveliy,
Raven, Kate Mishina, Lion Tosha, Anna Vasenina, Valeriy Holodkov, Alexander
Mintz. I’m very
grateful to Tara and my parents. Special thanks to my lama Ole Nidal and all